   
ACTIVITY:
"I-Messages" & "Verbal Muscle"
TIME: 20-40
MIN
FOCUS: Communicate Better; ALSO: Respect, Act Courageously
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STEP 1 – 4 COMPONENTS OF "I-MESSAGES" ("MAGIC
PHRASES")
Explain that while words are better than fists for dealing with anger
and conflict, it depends on the words they use. The phrases that make up
the "I-Message" (call them "Magic Phrases" for younger students) are
especially effective.
Distribute the "Verbal Muscle"
worksheet and introduce the four phrases.
1. I feel___________________ (angry, hurt, scared...)
2. when _____________________ (say what happened)
3. because_________________ (why it upsets you)
4. and I would like____________ (what you
want to happen or change)
- If helpful, have younger students repeat the phrases as a "chant" or
"cheer"
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STEP 2 – THE FOUR LEVELS OF "VERBAL MUSCLE"
Introduce the four levels of "verbal muscle," perhaps writing them on
newsprint or the board. Use the example on the
worksheet and then apply these four
levels to other examples that might be more appropriate for your students.
Invite students to offer examples from their own lives and brainstorm
how to apply the four levels to these examples.
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STEP 3 – PRACTICING "VERBAL MUSCLE"
Pair students and have them take turns using the "I-Message" component
of "Verbal Muscle" on a situation(s) in their lives where they have been
angry.
After completing Level 1, have the partners add Levels 2 and 3 to
their statements.
Finally, have them add Level 4, the follow-through step, to their
statements.
Have students identify any difficulties they had with using "Verbal
Muscle" and brainstorm ways of overcoming these difficulties.
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STEP 4 (OPTIONAL) – "COLD WATER WORDS"
Have students explain what they think this phrase on the worksheet
means
Share your own "cold water words" and times when you used them
Have students identify their own "cold water words" and times when
they might work.
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CHECKLIST FOR THIS ACTIVITY
Copies of the "Verbal Muscle"
worksheet for each student
Optional for younger students: Newsprint with the four phrases of the
"I-Message" and four levels of "Verbal Muscle"
Adapted from
A Volcano in My Tummy: Helping Children to Handle Anger, by Elaine
Whitehouse & Warwick Pudney (New Society Publishers, 1996). |
Return to:
Group
Activities Intro Page
Pledge Page
The Institute for Peace and Justice
4144 Lindell Blvd, Room 408
St. Louis, MO 63119
314-918-2630
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